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Days of Wine and Roses

December 13, 2009

A film that stars Jack Lemmon only according to Sky info, but also seems to star a woman playing his wife. Seems this nameless woman is actually Lee Remick. It is a black and white film about alkies.

Missed the beginning but tuned in as Mrs & Mr Drunk visited Scarlett O’Hara’s father to tell him they had just gotten married two hours previous.

They then immediately have a three month old baby and Mr Drunk told Mrs Drunk she had to feed baby with a bottle because she would lose her figure and he wanted a drinking partner.

Mr. Drunk got demoted at work because he gets drunk and then has to spend a very quick 3 years commuting to Denver so he can drink in a hotel bar and Mrs Drunk drinks on the sofa watching kids programmes.

Mrs Drunk burnt down the apartment and Mr drunk got fired. Somehow they managed to find somewhere else to live but Mr Drunk can’t get a job. They don’t show where the money tree is though, which makes the film very disappointing

Mrs & Mr drunk are now wanting to sober up as Mr drunk has realised they have turned into a couple of bums. They go to live with Scarlett O’Hara’s father.

I went outside for a cigarette break and when I came back Mrs & Mr Drunk had got over sobriety and were getting drunk in bed and then Mr Drunk climbed out of the window into a tree in the rain.

Mr Drunk battled triffids and made it to the greenhouse where he started pulling out all the plants from their pots in a bid to take nature back to nature. He was babbling quite a lot so no idea what he was playing at really.

Mrs Drunk just visited Mr O’Hara in his bed so he put her in the shower. Mr Drunk has been put in a strait jacket and is still babbling.

Went out to make a cup of tea at this point as Mr Drunk was making funny faces. Then Quincy who pretends he is Jim from AA turned up to save the day. Mrs Drunk isn’t really interested in Quincy/Jim from AA though.

Mr Drunk changed his name to Joe so he could get up and say ‘My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic’ as it wouldn’t seem right if he had got up and said ‘My name is Mr Drunk and I am an alcoholic’

Mrs Drunk runs away because she is scared that Mr Drunk is now called Joe. Quincy/Jim tells Joe/Mr Drunk that Mrs Drunk is an alcoholic because she likes chocolate cake.

Joe/Mr Drunk receives a phone call to tell him where Mrs Drunk is. He goes without chocolate cake which to my mind is a mistake. He tells her he wants his wife and she renames him Sober Joe then gets him drunk. He then falls into some trees and breaks into an off-licence for more booze, but the getaway is scuppered because he falls over and ends up back in hospital with Quincy/Jim for company.

Mr Drunk turns into Sober Joe again. Mr O’Hara tries to strangle him in the greenhouse. Mrs Drunk is living with Mr O’Hara now and wasting electricity as he leaves the lights on and she never comes home to turn them off, selfish woman.

Mrs Drunk comes to visit Sober Joe but he says no threesomes and she goes away and that is the end.

It is a rubbish ending, then Ceefax comes on and it is strangely alluring so I am unable to correct the mixed tenses in this review before I press Publish as I have to see if I have Ceefax buttons on my remote so I can hold pages and make half pages bigger. Thanks for reading.

Update: Somebody has hidden my remote control so I have to look at Ceefax now forever. I bet the remote is in the same place that my glasses have hidden themselves!

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. December 13, 2009 03:00

    If only all film reviews could be this good, or indeed films!

  2. otto permalink
    December 13, 2009 05:45

    man drinking from bottle in brown paper bag?

    WE GOT THAT B-ROLL!

  3. polly permalink
    December 13, 2009 15:41

    They still have ceefax? I thought it had been abolished, I loved it in the days before the internetz.

  4. sister permalink
    January 5, 2010 18:36

    lol- very funny sis, i missed this one but i feel that it doesnt matter as you have covered the highlights! xxx

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